[ this whole thing is still more than a little surreal to him, too — but at least the talk of dressrosa distracts him a little...
... not that it's necessarily a good distraction. here, without anything else to think of, the paralyzing certainty that cora will absolutely hate every single thing he's done and become in life is back. he did everything, everything for cora's sake, to keep his will alive, to finish his mission. but sengoku made him realize it likely wasn't what cora would have wanted for him. had he lived freely?
no. but it was a decision he'd made on his own.
he wonders just how much of his life he can keep from telling cora — about his reputation, everything he'd done to become a warlord, the entire plan to free dressrosa... if it was just the two of them here, it wouldn't be an issue. but pudding is a problem in this, too: she'd be able to tell cora just exactly how terrible law's reputation really is. (not that he wants to keep things from him... only, he can't stand the thought of disappointing him. and he knows his life choices have likely been nothing but a disappointment.)
... shit. what a mess.
in the end, though, he knows there are some things he has to be truthful about. and so he lifts his gaze, looks at cora, even though it looks like it pains him, to say what he's about to say. ]
... Yeah. But Cora-san — I'm sorry! [ his voice shakes, with genuine anguish and anger, mostly directed at himself. ] It took me thirteen years to finish what you started. And even then... even then! It was Straw Hat-ya who defeated Doflamingo. I could only beat Vergo and Trebol.
[ ... "only". and though he has no intention to ever tell cora about his fights with doflamingo, or the damage he took, or really any of that, a few things are probably clear anyway — if he couldn't beat doflamingo, that means he tried. and failed. ]
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... not that it's necessarily a good distraction. here, without anything else to think of, the paralyzing certainty that cora will absolutely hate every single thing he's done and become in life is back. he did everything, everything for cora's sake, to keep his will alive, to finish his mission. but sengoku made him realize it likely wasn't what cora would have wanted for him. had he lived freely?
no. but it was a decision he'd made on his own.
he wonders just how much of his life he can keep from telling cora — about his reputation, everything he'd done to become a warlord, the entire plan to free dressrosa... if it was just the two of them here, it wouldn't be an issue. but pudding is a problem in this, too: she'd be able to tell cora just exactly how terrible law's reputation really is. (not that he wants to keep things from him... only, he can't stand the thought of disappointing him. and he knows his life choices have likely been nothing but a disappointment.)
... shit. what a mess.
in the end, though, he knows there are some things he has to be truthful about. and so he lifts his gaze, looks at cora, even though it looks like it pains him, to say what he's about to say. ]
... Yeah. But Cora-san — I'm sorry! [ his voice shakes, with genuine anguish and anger, mostly directed at himself. ] It took me thirteen years to finish what you started. And even then... even then! It was Straw Hat-ya who defeated Doflamingo. I could only beat Vergo and Trebol.
[ ... "only". and though he has no intention to ever tell cora about his fights with doflamingo, or the damage he took, or really any of that, a few things are probably clear anyway — if he couldn't beat doflamingo, that means he tried. and failed. ]