rip people's hearts out for putting sprinkles on ice cream...
ALRIGHT CLIFF NOTES TRAUMA: uncle ben's death, captain stacy's death, gwen's death on his shoulders. he was cloned (several times, and briefly gave up his life because he thought he was the clone); and a totally terrible retcon has gwen stacy, love! of his life! sleeping with norman osborn (arch-nemesis, green goblin, and all-around terrible father of his bff) and giving birth to t...wins... who later try and kill him.
oh, and said dead girlfriend was also cloned by a dude obsessed with her.
then we've got being buried alive for two weeks! (it was traumatising.) may's death faked! mary jane's death faked! separation! then he dies, he sheds his skin, creates a cocoon, comes back to life with weird magic spider powers, briefly has an embarrassing idolisation of tony stark and reveals his identity on national tv. which means aunt may gets shot (bullet meant for mj!), EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE, he commits MANY CRIMES and ends up making a deal with the devil to sell his marriage to make things okay again.
then we had a shitty story that establishes the false memories peter and mj have of their marriage not working out is: peter misses the wedding entirely, and they break up (later) due to mj wanting kids as a requirement for getting married and not wanting to bring them into a life with peter parker because he's ..... spider-man.
the usual dramas happen for a while, then otto octavius (runner-up nemesis, really) steals his body, peter technically dies in otto octavius' body. otto goes around for like, a year pretending to be peter parker/spider-man, no-one really notices that peter's LOST THE FUCKING PLOT until he regains control of his body. then he becomes a national disgrace twice over for destroying the company otto had set up in his name, and later because ...... peter never actually finished grad school, so otto did his phd as peter and then peter got accused of plagiarising otto......
and now aunt may has cancer. and he was going to propose to mj (again), but he was too late because she'd gone to california to shoot a movie.
less traumatically, he also kinda has a sister, it turns out. her name is teresa and she's a super cool cia agent.
but tbh most of that's irrelevant because peter will never ever mention it. which means, like, HE CAN RELATE, Q, HE'S JUST NOT going to elaborate on how and why........
lmao peter will just take quentin's word that there's a tswift song for every occasion, because the most recent artist he actually really, genuinely listens to, is run-dmc. soz q.
BUT TOO DAMN RIGHT SPIDER-MAN'S A COOL NEW YORKER. (aka of fucking course growing up in jersey was a traumatic experience, quentin, it's fucking jersey.)
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what
rip people's hearts out for putting sprinkles on ice cream...
ALRIGHT CLIFF NOTES TRAUMA: uncle ben's death, captain stacy's death, gwen's death on his shoulders. he was cloned (several times, and briefly gave up his life because he thought he was the clone); and a totally terrible retcon has gwen stacy, love! of his life! sleeping with norman osborn (arch-nemesis, green goblin, and all-around terrible father of his bff) and giving birth to t...wins... who later try and kill him.
oh, and said dead girlfriend was also cloned by a dude obsessed with her.
then we've got being buried alive for two weeks! (it was traumatising.) may's death faked! mary jane's death faked! separation! then he dies, he sheds his skin, creates a cocoon, comes back to life with weird magic spider powers, briefly has an embarrassing idolisation of tony stark and reveals his identity on national tv. which means aunt may gets shot (bullet meant for mj!), EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE, he commits MANY CRIMES and ends up making a deal with the devil to sell his marriage to make things okay again.
then we had a shitty story that establishes the false memories peter and mj have of their marriage not working out is: peter misses the wedding entirely, and they break up (later) due to mj wanting kids as a requirement for getting married and not wanting to bring them into a life with peter parker because he's ..... spider-man.
the usual dramas happen for a while, then otto octavius (runner-up nemesis, really) steals his body, peter technically dies in otto octavius' body. otto goes around for like, a year pretending to be peter parker/spider-man, no-one really notices that peter's LOST THE FUCKING PLOT until he regains control of his body. then he becomes a national disgrace twice over for destroying the company otto had set up in his name, and later because ...... peter never actually finished grad school, so otto did his phd as peter and then peter got accused of plagiarising otto......
and now aunt may has cancer. and he was going to propose to mj (again), but he was too late because she'd gone to california to shoot a movie.
less traumatically, he also kinda has a sister, it turns out. her name is teresa and she's a super cool cia agent.
but tbh most of that's irrelevant because peter will never ever mention it. which means, like, HE CAN RELATE, Q, HE'S JUST NOT going to elaborate on how and why........
lmao peter will just take quentin's word that there's a tswift song for every occasion, because the most recent artist he actually really, genuinely listens to, is run-dmc. soz q.
BUT TOO DAMN RIGHT SPIDER-MAN'S A COOL NEW YORKER. (aka of fucking course growing up in jersey was a traumatic experience, quentin, it's fucking jersey.)